I Sleep With My Window Half Open

I sleep with my window half open,
Not so wide as to embrace the cold, 
But not closed completely;
As to commit to eight hours in one room.

And that bubble,
Which starts from my feet, my toes,
Not my stomach,
Rises up.
Into my forearms, my forehead.

So that it clouds not just my peripherals, 
But makes a home inside the tunnel it has left me.

All consuming.

And that bubble,
Which starts in my toes,
Which trembles and teases across the balls of my feet,
Changes me.

For a moment, I am transformed.
Deer in headlights.
The bubble in my forehead bending my thoughts as they 
Rise up.

So that these thoughts are no longer my own;
They have been bent and twisted like light travelling through water.
Refracted.

So that I become a fracture too,
A small part of my whole.

I sleep with my window half open,
This room cannot hold my spectrum for eight hours whole. 

lmpno

"I don't consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin."

Leonard Cohen

Stumbling across this quote this morning after last night was...strange

Everything about this past month has been just that. Stange.

I have never known something to click so perfectly, but be so utterly fatally flawed. 

The quote above captures last nights discussion well. 
The importance of fully embracing all emotions, not just the good but the crappy ones too, and the way misery can act as a powerful muse at times.
A silver lining to an otherwise devastating emotion.

This is shit. It sucks.
I don't know how to articulate it, or make sense of it.
Part of me doesn't want to. I can keep it a romantic, private mess this way. 

But I miss him, and its been 8 hours. And sorry Leonard, I don't want to feel soaked to the skin.
In this case, I think that would be too much to bare. 

Fatally Flawed

Through attempting to write an essay establishing the importance of associative learning in the determination of animal behaviour, I have come to the conclusion of: Very.

This is based on my own research in which I managed to condition myself to only be able to write when eating sultanas.

Oh wow

Ohhh my gosh its been a while... sorry!

I made a promise to myself when I set up this blog to try and post regularly... and I haven't.

With my third year of university rearing its ugly head on the horizon, I've decided that I should really try to blog more throughout it. It's the pivotal year in my academic career so far, and it would be nice to be able to reflect on it in some way in the future. That, and it will be an ideal place to vent about what will surely be a stressful year... eep.

So summer is coming to an end, and its been a fab one.

I went inter-railing with one of my best friends 

I went on holiday to Turkey with my family 

And then just generally been working and seeing friends and prepping to go back to uni in 3 weeks.

Got so many jobs to do.. but I need a kick up the arse to get into gear again! 

I'll post again when I do something vaguely interesting.

might be a while then....

Goood morning, goood mooorning!

Okay, so a very late "Good Morning" but hey, I was up half the night! Cut me some slack,

Why was I up half the night? Well I'd like to say it's because I was prancing from party to party, but really I was tucked up in bed with a book I just could put down.

Oh Wow. What an amazing book! The second I had finished it I tweeted John Green straight away to say thank you for writing it. If you haven't read it, then you must!

However, having such a crazy, wild night meant that I've had a very sleepy morning. Pottering about the garden with my bowl of muesli, sipping on a glass of OJ, enjoying the sunshine.

Hot chocolate

Finishing the day with hot chocolate with dad... Yumm yum yum... Not very fitting with the weather, but I'm feeling rebellious today :p

How cool is my mug?? Nooo i didn't spill chocolate down the front of it! That's part of the design!

Don't worry, I didn't realise either.
When it was initially given to me as a present I proceeded to scrub what I thought was a dirty mark away. My friend just laughed at me.

Good one.

X

Reflections

Today has been nearly as productive as I would have liked it to be ;)
I surprised myself!

It was a beautiful day in England today, so I spent it working in our conservatory with the windows and doors cracked wide open... So I was enjoying the sunshine in a quasi kind of way!

When my mum came home, we took the dog for a walk, to catch the last of the sun.

Dad had cooked us dinner, it was delicious and it's safe to say I'm STUFFED!

I've now returned to the confines of the conservatory, to try study a little more... but I have to say, working in here really doesn't feel too much like "work".
Mum has made it so quaint and pretty that in the evening twilight it's a really peaceful place to come, sit back and reflect on your day.

x